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Artists are people who dare to expose their vulnerabilities and the peak of their skills thus expressing the raw footage of their inner workings to the judgment of the world. Though talent and skills are important for artists, it is the aforementioned that mystifies, intrigues, amuses, and feeds the soul of the audience.

I am writing tonight from Billings, Montana en route to the Arts Midwest Conference in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

To the presenters of the Midwest: (and the rest of you too, we are an all inclusive social chamber music duo so read on!)

We are using this cutting edge computer technology interpersonal communication electric mail box technique to introduce you to the Bottom Line Duo. You may have heard them at the 2009 Midwest Arts Spotlight Showcase or on Public Radio’s “Says You!” program. This year at the Midwest Arts Conference in Grand Rapids the duo is co-presenting, with Tim Behrens of the McManus Comedies, an independent showcase on both Thursday and Friday nights in the Haldane room of the conference hotel immediately following the Spotlight showcases.

The Bottom Line Duo is a magnificently refreshing chamber music ensemble who through impeccable musicianship, no holds barred programming, infectious humor, and over 1149 consecutive weeks of marriage, bring a virtual ‘Victor Borge meets Carol Burnett’ atmosphere to the formal concert stage.

If we unfortunately miss you at booth #446 or at either showcase please accept our apology. Please know we are looking forward to corresponding with you either way after the conference.

Kudos to Monroe, WI as they do a great job getting the word out! 

Here is a sample of one of our programs:

Flight of the Bumblebee———————————————-Rimsky-Korsakov

Humoresque————————————————————W.H. Squire

Duetto-Movement I —————————————————Rossini

Crazy Train————————————————————-Jonathan Osbourne

Concerto for Double Bass – Gigue———————————Dragonetti

Cebreros————————————————————Spencer Hoveskeland

Walk the Line/Walk Don’t Run/

Walk Like an Egyptian Medley————————————-Cash/Ventures/Bangles

Viva Tlapehuala——————————————————- Isias Sameron

Besame Mucho———————————————————Consuelo Velazquez

Blog announcement

Hello fans of the Bottom Line Duo! Some time ago I received a message from a fan who was ‘unsubscribing’ from my newsletter. He advised that my newsletter contained too much ‘blog’ type writing and not enough industry or booking management type of information. Of course I thanked him. I also said that my mission was to do both: keep up with the duo calendar and booking information in one half while maintaining an advocacy meets creative writing aspect that pertains somewhat to the type of personal banter we present in our actual concert performance in the other half. This is a way, I thought, of having fans get both the technical information as well as each month receive something new from our imaginings as an extension of the entertainment part of our concerts. Fortunately, because he unsubscribed any way, he’ll never know that I stuck to my guns and have continued to express myself this way. I had hoped that those who are not interested in the creative writing will skim ahead to the nuts and bolts.

Of course now I realize that skimming ahead is inconvenient for some. Well, I would rather have it be a little inconvenient for everyone than have it be extra inconvenient for a few (this is a communism pinko type of philosophy …in other words, in my house, the toilet seat always gets closed all the way by everyone. Everyone does a little and no one is abused and no one ever has to hear that dreaded, “Hey everyone listen up: put down the *^%%$@ seat! I just fell into the toilet again!” followed by the answer, “Why don’t you look first???” Followed by, “I’m facing the other way!!” Followed by, “But didn’t you look when you walked into the room?” With the rebuttal, “I was doing my hair first!” And the worst mistake, “Haven’t you used a toilet before??!!” Followed by three weeks of silence, suppressed intimacy, and paper work from a divorce attorney you’ve never heard of). What does this all mean?

Don’t ask me. However, I have made a small change to the newsletter format. From now on, the blog type section of the letter will be incomplete with a ‘read more‘   button at the cliff hanger. This ‘read more‘ button will link to our official blog site where all the blog type letters from all of our newsletters are archived. This way, if you like one, you can find it again. Also, if you don’t like this part enjoy one less click. Do you want to know precisely how thoughtful we are in saving you from a click???? Click here to find out. 

Facebook announcement (nothing to say yet about linkdyn, myspace, and all the others)

Dear facebook friends. I want to keep you all…but I want to keep my sanity too so here is what I’m going to do: Invite you all to like my Bottom Line Duo page and seek me there as I am just as reachable…not only that, but that page is going to primarily be designed to send to you to my webpage…where you can also reach me. That being said, some of you know me by name and not as Bottom Line Duo. Although I won’t get rid of my personal page, I will get messages forwarded to my personal e-mail (which is equally accessible at my webpage ) …as long as Facebook is consistent.

Truth: The next newsletter is due in a few days. This one is late. Wait a second, I make the rules. This one is on time. So is the next one. As is customary, what follows is blogish and what follows that is newsish. And my vocabulary is spellcheckerish.

Truth. Have I discussed this before? If I have I don’t remember. If I have not, I will not say that I have. I do not remember. That is the truth…until I am reminded. So, to be truthful, I must admit that I don’t know. This lack of knowledge is something that has been consistent through out my life and it is only when I adamantly deny that I know nothing that I discover how little I know. When I ‘know’ something I find it is only a matter of time until what I know is viewed in a new light. Perspective changes how things look and I know I will never be in the same place for long thus I must admit that from here, this looks this way and from there it looks like something else. To put it simply, as soon as I know something, I don’t. This I know…for now…or at least presently it appears this way and it will stay this way as long as I…as long as I…as long as I cease to grow, think, seek, and understand. That’s why Grandpa said that you don’t know anything until you’re dead. Well, I assume he knows now and I’ll find out eventually, guaranteed… I think.

Folks say the truth hurts. I say the truth is. Me and them folks ain’t always agreein’. I am sorry that hurts them. I don’t know if it is true or not because I’m not dead yet and I am too stubborn to give up seeking, understanding, and growing. So I’ll play the bass but I must accept the truth that it had me beat before I was born and has been dominant and ruling over the species that built it from it’s first note…which was probably out of tune and poorly executed with a small yet unpleasant sound due to the inevitable failure inherent to the first man (it likely was a man) and all those that followed who attempted and presently attempt to tame the savage bass.

I have a few days to finish putting together a proposal for the upcoming (June) International Society of Double Bassists Conference so my duo may be considered to perform at this respected event. I’ll enjoy your feedback if you have any so please write. I am going to propose a performance with the underlying theme of ‘Creating Performance Opportunities by Being Yourself’. I just added that ‘being yourself’ bit just now, justly.

The Bottom Line Duo exists due to very specific circumstances. In ninth grade I met my wife to be at my locker. She carried a music folder. I said hello. She said she played the cello. This was music to my ears for I also was a cellist and a guitarist and had decided in kindergarten that music was going to be my life. Golly, was life getting interesting. I later asked my High School teacher if I could play bass. He said yes, in the stage band, as long as I kept playing cello. I was okay at the cello and the guitar. The kind of okay that made my stand partners scowl at me whenever I expressed myself. The bass however, kicked my butt and I preferred that to being butt kicked by stand partners. My reaction to this was, “Oh yeah!?? Let me try that again! I’ll show you, you dirty old tree with strings!” I guess I shouldn’t say my reaction was…it is.

Traci and I were wed. I ended up playing chamber music, symphony, Early Music, New Music, Jazz, rock, country…you name it. I played bass for a living, bass is in all good music, and I played a lot of that plus a lot of music where the bass didn’t fit! In time Traci and I put together a rock band. We played clubs in Canada since the US wouldn’t have us in pubs due to our age. We were successful but unfulfilled. We freelanced. We were successful yet unfulfilled. We put the duo together and have performed in every kind of venue imaginable. We find fulfillment to be ever expanding. We find challenges and need to continue to try again and again. It seems to be a forever thing.

Creating performance opportunities: Because we decided to make our home in the Northwest we realized that there were not hundreds of performing opportunities surrounding us nor was there a high level community of artists opening their arms and showing us where the bar is and inviting us to join them. No. Here the high level players know there isn’t room for every one and every man for himself is the status quo. No complaints from us though. This is still a great country so, how do we learn to play? How do we achieve the thousands of hours and hundreds of run throughs of hundreds of works in a performance setting so that we can grow and become the performing artists we dream to be?

This reasoning is flawed but in hindsight it still served us well. We took advantage of all playing opportunities no matter the pay, hours, or kind of music. We needed to play and play and the soil here is not enriched to grow anything that is too particular…I thought. We performed several times weekly for many years and eventually word got out. What that word was I’ll never know but into our lives, out of thin air, started walking people from all over the world who loved us and wanted to help. Arthur Bloom walked in one day. He said he’d like to see my scores (compositions and arrangements). He saw, said I was in trouble and he could help. I spent six years with Art. A little background on Art – Founding member of Dorian Wind Quintet, New York Arts council 1973-76, solo Clarinet recordings, conductor…I can’t say enough. For the bass players reading this the famous work ‘Valentine’ by Druckman was written for Art’s friend Alvin Brehm and they both played these works on tour with dancers and Art was Alvin’s page turner in concert. Art asked me lots of questions. Things like, “That passage you played, it wasn’t perfect. Why not?” He also asked, “Who are the greatest bass players in the world and have you called them?” I of course responded, “Who me? Call them?” He said, “Yes. They will love you because you love the same thing they love and they will recognize that in you and they will support you.” I picked up the phone. Art was right. My environment is the whole world and my back yard is part of it. This means I can forge ahead playing music from my life, from my muse, from other composers, other bass players, other instrumentalists, and I may apply all I have learned to all music styles and play for the love of music and my wife, and the world will support it and I can demonstrate to the ISB, if I get the opportunity, that if I can, you can, and there is room for all of us and we can help each other.

The bigger picture is that this reasoning works with any endeavor and truth amongst the truthful is a bond that unites, like music, regardless of ones position in life and the world. Thank you Art for opening my eyes, ears, and heart and thank you Grandpa for letting me know that I don’t need to know anything just yet.

Imagine Victor Borge meets Carol Burnett.

That’s what we’re running with for our Arts Midwest showcase marketing campaign for the September conference in Grand Rapids, Michigan. We are in cahoots with the McManus Comedies starring the great actor and story teller Tim Behrens and will be showcasing opposite each other for two nights. There’ll be more about this in the next two newsletters. We’ve been going over Tim’s web site tooth and nail looking to acquire wisdom (steal) and as many ideas as possible on how to successfully market our show. Let us know if we’ve missed anything after your visit there.

It has been chin rubbing and pondering for some time now as we try to find a popular reference to attempt to explain what a Bottom Line Duo concert is. We’re looking for a short sentence of five to ten words: a pitch phrase. For years we ran with bass and cello duo on the assumption that every one would imagine the sound as well as know what a bass and cello are, and then on top of that, want to go hear it. As time passed we heard again and again that during a performance our audiences quickly forget it’s a chamber music duo concert and, in losing their preconception of an impending recital, are enamored with not only the music, but the humor, body language, expressions, joy, and love that we also purposefully project.

Our primary marketing desire is to compare ourselves to a real life married couple known to the popular masses for their music, humor, monogamy, values, body language, expressions, joy, and love. We are looking for the ‘model’ couple. It seems that Burns and Allen are the latest pair but their careers are too long ago for many of our fans to relate to. If we could just marry Borge and Burnett and then have them really love each other passionately we may have a close pitch phrase for the Bottom Line Duo. We hope these imaginings will peak interest and we invite your sentiments. In the mean time we’ll hope that when looking for a model married couple with great musicianship, humor, classical art, joy, and love, packed into an entertaining program they’ll one day write,

“Reminiscent of the Bottom Line Duo!”

I drink tea…after my coffee and before large amounts of water, fresh juice, and eventually grape juice (wine). I remain hydrated while I live in a weather wet environment. The tea is usually a ginger tea by a company called Yogi, not the bear, the tea. Each tea bag has some nice words of enlightenment on the tag which I rip off of the string and scatter on the counter near the tea pot. Today I read, “Your greatness is not in what you have, it’s what you give.” I quickly spiraled into oblique confusion pondering, “What ‘have’ I to give?”

I quickly abandoned this challenge and moved onto pondering, as great people are prone to do, my greatness. I mentally reviewed what I have given. I figured unconditional love. That’s a great one and I have it and give it, so far so good on achieving greatness. I followed this with giving myself to music and thus offering my 20′s, 30′s, etc to the study thereof so I may give my discipline away…I perceive performing as a freebie and any monies I receive are for office work, travel expenses, greatness remuneration and the like. I give, not so often but it still counts, to the homeless guy near my house who, with the exception of a few months subbed out here and there, has been collecting cash and food for the thirteen years that I have lived here. He works much harder than I do, so a little blow to greatness there. So I occasionally send an extra can of food on Fridays to my son’s school as it goes to a food bank. Yet I drive by another homeless guy at the next corner, he’s new, and for a few days I’ve admired his excellent hiking shoes, pressed jeans, snug all weather coat, his excellent hiking pack, and his really great gold glasses frames. I think to myself how I should save a little money and get an outfit like that. I haven’t given him anything yet though as I frown upon his using the same sign as the subs at the corner, literally…I think the rule is to leave the sign for the next person, while at the same time I admire him and his coworkers for frugality and firm green principles.

In other words, my greatness has a great deal of room for improvement. Most of my greatness most of the time takes place within three miles of my home. I give sweat to my endlessly needy lawn. I give attention to my ever complaining body. The wife and kid are amazing though I sweat being great enough for them. Yet the words of Yogi confuse me. If being great is a narcissistic endeavor that flames the ego and if giving makes one greater, does not the narcissistic cynic conclude that in order to be the greatest ego and narcissist he thus needs to give more betterer than every one else? Yes, betterer.

Methinks there is a bettererest way. If I have anything to give at all it will be best served to wave flags for others. Click away on these links and I apologize if there are too many. I have nothing but nice things to say about these folks yet forgive the truncation:

Tim Noah. I’ve known of Tim for many years. I finally met him a month ago when he presented the Bottom Line Duo at his theater, the Tim Noah Thumbnail Theater in Snohomish, Washington. I admire cool people and especially cool people who do cool things just because it’s cool. I am sure there is an artsy way to express this sentiment using words like ‘dedicated’ and ‘advocate’ but cool works for me. This theater is a gem. The acoustics are amazing and the audiences, people who live in a cool part of a cool state, are equally warm and friendly, like Tim. Traci and I experienced a very special concert. The room was so fantastic that we spent the two hours putting sounds into it, moving the sounds back and forth, ending the sounds and sucking the sound waves from the room and bouncing harmonics and colors around as if ringing a large bell. I hope you get a chance to hear a concert there. Thanks Tim.

Lance and Laurie Haslund. They present a house concert series in Burien Washington where we played last week. They are musicians as well. They are musicians and they are cool. They designed and built their home themselves. The key feature to their home was to build a stage in their living room for the soul purpose of presenting music and giving it to their friends and friends of the performing artists. The series has gone on for many years. Just to be cool. I don’t think they can help it.

Jake Seniuk. Another cool person. As well as being an artist in his own right he has for many years, though he is about to retire, run the Port Angeles Fine Art Center which boasts, much to Jake’s vision, one of the best, if not best, outdoor art parks in the world as well as a gallery that presents events and shows and boasts a huge membership. Coincidentally he has a great sense of humor, is a great photographer, and has always supported the Bottom Line Duo. I also like him because he has the same kind of car as we do. He’d still be cool even if he’d never presented the duo or had the Honda wagon.

Greg Ruby. Greg Ruby moved here from somewhere east of here some years ago. He’s younger than me so I don’t know a lot about new things being so old and set in my ways as I am. Be that as it may he has been making music in Seattle and has developed quite a following. Sure, he plays guitar, but he is still cool. I admire his commitment to playing his original music…from Seattle to Lincoln Center and his airy peace that he brings with him every where he goes and adds to everything he touches. Click here for discography. He recently recorded a children’s album with his wife Jana…and that’s cool. Click here to see the commercialfor his quartet album made by his filmmaker son. Cool.

Shawn Weaver. I met Shawn at a black tie event awards show for architects at the Paramount Theater in the early 90′s. He asked me to come play on a gig with a band called the Mazeltones. He said it was Jewish music, Klezmer, and I’d be fine. I was. I remember the accordionist leaning over to me and saying, “Follow me, the rest of these guys are all over the place.” This was followed by the drummer, playing hand drums, leaning into me and saying “Follow me, the rest of these guys are all over the place.” The violinist followed suit. Shawn, bless his heart leaned in and said, “Stick with me, I write the checks.” Eventually that band broke up and Shawn put together a group called Shawn’s Kugel. We made several albums and Shawn was committed to composing original material. Cool. We played all over the place. For Mitzvahs Shawn would compose a new work called a Freylak. We would play this when the Mitszvah-ee??? was put up in the chair. Shawn would then present the sheet music, framed and autographed, as a gift. That is one of the coolest things I’ve ever stolen!

Bertram Levy.  I’ve played Klezmer music with Bertram with him on concertina, he’s written two books on concertina, as well as a decade in the band Tangoheart. Complete with dancers this band approached the deep music of tango from a chamber music perspective with a heavy attention to authenticity regarding the national music of Argentina. He also called while I was writing. He has recently recorded an album of concertina music, and though I haven’t found any info on it, I know this concert happened and I am sure you can find out more. Bertram has been a non-stop student of music and demonstrates a commitment to his passions that can be the envy of us all. Cool.

On another note, Traci demands that I remind you, no matter where you live, that if you would like to present the Bottom Line Duo in concert, we will help you. Also, if you live in the Northwest or any where on a tour route and would like to ‘gift’ a Bottom Line Duo school outreach assembly program to your favorite school we will help you with that too.

If I won the lottery I would play more concerts. I would keep playing concerts until I ran out of money. And I would run out of money. The neat thing is, if I spin it right, things are no different today than if I had won the lottery. I am amazed at how hard music lovers work to present performing artists. I am forever grateful and astonished by their perseverance. It is because of them that I get to practice and prepare. It is through them that I am allowed to channel the muse and openly pursue the expression of emotion through sound. I also get to be funny and share laughs with audiences.

I realize I have done nothing but play bass for over 20 years. Music has taken me to several continents and many more trips internally. As I plan now to dump thousands of yet to be earned dollars into recording the next CD as well as thousands more of yet to be earned dollars into the business aspect of running a music business I, like this time every year, completely lose my mind wondering how it is even a tiny bit possible that I will succeed.

I then refer to the fallacy of ‘It’s always worked before…at least twenty seasons so far.’ This is crazy reasoning. It’s like jumping off a building of undetermined size and as you pass each floor telling yourself that, ‘Hey, I’ve passed 20 floors already and didn’t splat. What could go wrong?’ Splat. Crazy reasoning. Yes. Crazy. I pick that.

My marriage will be twenty two years old this summer. I have been interviewing some older relatives, there are fewer of these each year, and asking them questions about love and regret. Regrets? Everyone seems to have things they would do differently today. In fact, often times they are things they would have done differently in the moment had they had the courage. Courage? Yes. Love is scary. It is scary because it is unconditional. If it’s unconditional, then the only variable is what you do with it. What do you dare to do with it? Love is scary. I asked an old person and they told me so, so I know it’s true.

But when I asked about passionate soul mate unconditional love I always got the same statement first, “Oh, you mean that kind of love.” It seems that those who have told themselves that love is unconditional walk it off by equating it to the multifaceted type of lesser love that our society throws around so dismissively. But they agree, one love is greater than all others. However, with this knowledge, no one I’ve asked stayed with the person they truly loved. Not one. They have let that person linger in their heart, always present, through all their remaining relationships. Why? Because it is easier to reach for your backside than for the stars. Who gave so many people the idea that easy is the way to go? I don’t know, yet. However, I do know that being born hurt, being alive hurts, and dying is probably no walk in the park. Why not reach for the stars? Dare to bare your soul to others, especially those you love. What could go wrong? Crazy. I pick that, too.

Artists are dare devils. They gamble that they will live long enough to practice enough to make enough money so they can die soon enough that they have enough money to pay for their burial. Usually selling the bass they leave behind covers this. The arts presenters, on the other hand, are even crazier. Sure some just present programs to fill seats and have a safe time of it appearing somewhat sane yet some how lacking the sense of urgency that comes with the acceptance of eventual death. The others though, the real crazies, present what they think is cool… and they’d better do it quick because time is passing and we gotta live for something ’cause we’re all gonna die!!! More often than not this means they present crazy artists who have sacrificed sanity for the sake of daring to be artists because they feel cool things need to be done and that no one else will dare to put forth the effort to make it a reality. Great marriage, I think, it’s a great marriage between the artist and the presenter. Cool things will happen just for the sake of making sure cool things happen. We understand each other. I pick cool.

Economy beckons: How do we pay for it? Ummm. How about we light a fire in the bosom of the minions (the darling definition) to demand more from life than a sofa and the TV? Maybe have them text each other? Maybe we can text a dare to the world as follows: Go find something cool to do. Text afterwards, not instead of. This is a bass player who is going to keep going. I’ll just need 40-50 more years and a real tall building. You’ll know I’ve made it when you see the bass for sale.

Hello dear people who read this letter. When I send this off to the internet I always feel like the sole survivor on a desert island who has found a bottle and managed to find some paper, written a note, and thrown it back into the ocean hoping one day, before its too late, some one will read it and rescue me, yet still, okay if no one finds it until after my demise and then, upon discovering it, knows my tragic story and can only imagine my cruel and lonely end.

The internet delivers only slightly more than the randomness of a bottle in the ocean. Sure computers can break down, servers can lose their data, and the power can go out. This is similar to the bottle being dashed against the rocks and the note being forever lost. But, like the sea, the internet can deliver the message to other human beings, specifically those who live near the sea and of those, those who are curious about notes in bottles. But even this similarity is not the final comparison. There may be those who live by the sea and are also curious to read notes in bottles, but amongst this small pool, they may still be indifferent and unmoved by the story. Although the ocean cannot deliver stats, if it could, it would be no more useful in helping sway those who are indifferent to the message. The internet, with all its statistics, can only let you know the bottle was found. With these stats comes the painful knowledge that most don’t read and that, those who do, you may never hear from.

On the island you will die lonely. In the present world you have the luxury that you may live and the message may be answered one day because your hope in humanity insists that if so many hundreds get your message, a percentage of those will act one day.

As dreary as this may sound there is an alternative to worrying this way. If I were on the desert island I would put messages in bottles. I would write as many as I could. Each note would have my reality and some entertainment. This way, I could still be saved by those who saw past the entertainment to the core of the message while at the same time, those who are entertained may one day want to know if I am really where I say I am and they will rescue me simply out of curiosity.

Sure, there are those who will be upset. They will say things like, “No, when you put a message in a bottle you must never deviate from the emergency and state exactly where you are and what your needs are. That is the ‘only’ message you should send.” Meanwhile, those who are entertained may be critics and tell you how much more entertaining it would be if you wrote it a different way. Amongst these will be folks who write a message back to you with the ‘right’ or ‘better’ way to say it. Of course you cannot forget the fringe, the people who send you notes about the ‘truth about the lord’ or the ‘truth there is no lord’ or the truth about being a stallion in bed, or the truth about anything. Fortunately the ocean is a great spam filter and most of these will never be delivered. The worst are the government people who intercept your message and send you a bill for living tax free and prepare legislation to tax the ocean.

Actually they have done this. No they don’t tax the ocean, just a tax for anything that happens where land meets sea. I suppose I’ll get a bill for ‘bottle deposit’ and ‘bottle commerce.’ There’s probably a tax for using gravity for throwing the bottle into the ocean.

Boy, if the government gets wind of this. I can hear it now:

‘You see sir, the government owns the sidewalk you are walking on don’t you agree?’

“Why yes, yes I agree.”

‘Well you see sir, we are actually taxing you for the existence and use of the sidewalk, correct sir?’

“Why yes, I can see that”

‘Good, then you’ll know, sir, that the air, above the sidewalk belongs to the government also? And that we charge you tax to keep the air clean enough to breathe for awhile?”

‘Yes, yes that seems to be true.’

“Well sir, do you ever wonder how the air is kept there as well as the sidewalk?”

“Well, I would suppose gravity?’

“That is correct sir and the United States of America owns a lot of gravity. You are free, as far as this municipality is concerned to use the air above our sidewalk to your heart’s content and you will not be taxed for gravity as you will not be using it. You will need to fill out some forms though because if you are to travel above 8 feet without the proper forms, the federal government will shoot you down. As long as you are up to 8 feet off the ground you will not be taxed. If you use the ground then, as you agreed, we have a right to tax you for gravity use. If you travel above 8 feet and are shot down by the federal government you will not only be taxed for jet fuel and bullets plus pilot time and insurance for the aircraft, your widow/estate will be taxed for the one time gravity tax for your body falling to Earth, a tax for sidewalk occupation, as well as the burial tax with a permanent tax on gravity to hold your corpse in the earth for eternity. Any questions?”

‘Yes, how do I become a Canadian citizen?’

“That is another department, sir, please take a number and have a seat in the stadium across the street. You’ll need a seat permit. If the stadium is full with the folks in line before you, you will need a shuttle pass, a shuttle seat permit, and a new seat permit for the next stadium(s). Good day sir.”

We just returned from 47 performances in 58 days over 10,000 miles in the Midwest of the United States. We experienced every kind of weather though we missed floods. We had blizzards, fire, and tornadoes. The audiences were awesome as well as the variety of concert halls. Most of the venues were full, asked for encores, and ages varied from 5 to 85. It was wonderful to perform for so many people of different ages as our program really breaks down the age barrier. We never had to pay an age barrier tax so that is good. I apologize for missing the February and March newsletters but music and survival took precedence. For those of us out west, for some reason, maybe it’s taxes, gas is 75 cents cheaper everywhere else. Our van gets 450 miles a tank. I drove those last miles and got home on empty and parked the van. I intend fill it when prices come down. I hope I’ll get to drive it again.

Okay I made it just in time. We have been on the road all month. We have had the great pleasure of making music for large audiences in halls that have amazing acoustics. The food has been good and that makes up for all the horrific driving conditions we have narrowly survived.

Our first stop was Great Falls. 20 below and blizzard. The people were warm though and they perspired a lot and kept the humidity up where our instruments like it. We then went on to Dickinson, Rugby and Valley City North Dakota. Relatives appeared from various locations across the prairie to say hello. It has been nice out this way because many of our fans out west have relatives and friends out here and they have been introducing themselves and telling us secrets about the people we ‘thought’ we knew.

The last three shows have been in Minnesota and today we launch our Wisconsin leg. We are juggling a bit with hotels as our needs are more specific due to the nature of our luggage. We presently live in three places. 1. the van. 2. the hotel. 3. the hall. Everything needs to go into each place (a little less at the hall) so that it doesn’t freeze solid. Sometimes we leave the books in the van though as we don’t mind cold literature so much.

We hope you are well and I’ll be sure to get the February letter out sooner than later.

At first I thought I would say that I am emerging from an extended period of deep personal growth. I was correct. I did think I would say that. However I have not explained my idea properly. I think it is better explained as ‘an emergence from the beginning of what shall be a lifetime of deep personal growth.’ The most difficult part is letting things be.

If I don’t let things be, I worry. If I don’t let it be, I may imagine my ego has to stand down and humble itself before all things good while standing tall against all things bad. But then my insecurities interfere and I can’t let that happen. This requires brains untouched by that pesky ego that only understands things filtered through its self. My ego screams its rebuttal, “When are you going to…’fill in the blank’ (Oh no, I’m not good enough to fill in my own blanks!!)? Will you ever arrive?!! Why aren’t you there yet?!! ARRGH!” In other words I must tell my ego to take a hike. But then I wonder, “Who am I to tell my ego what to do??!” I cannot blame myself for not getting here when I should have…nor can I allow myself to wonder how different things would have or could have been nor how they could or should have been or be. My ego does that for me. How is it that my ego constantly believes others are better than me while at the same time defending that no one is? What a disaster! We are all led by egos that are clueless.

What to do? Let it be. You can’t teach your ego anything. You can either give it what it wants or your ego will hate you.

In other words, and I have several I will use to make a point, the only way to live is to accept that the only one single thing there is to do in life is to learn… and to love, and to serve, and to practice, and be good, and grow and, and, and…the list goes on and on and it is just too big to bother to figure out. So now I move forward knowing damned well that I haven’t got a clue and I will be happy and good and enjoy a life of love, music, and, and, and… believe that no matter how full or empty my head is, I shall still use it to do good. So I have decided to stay clueless…or be smart… but not make the mistake that I understand anything, or everything, or at least something. I choose something. Choose. How do I choose clueless-ly (new word?) and without ego?

I hope I never become someone who knows enough. It seems folks who know a lot like to keep us dummies from doing things. I remember hearing many times, “You will never get anywhere with a bass and cello duo!” Well, I don’t know enough to understand that so lucky me! Actually I do know some things but I finally realize that knowing things and living, are separate.

My son, seven and ½ now, sits across the table from me doing his homework. The duo did many shows and showcases and travels and achievements before he was born. The year of pregnancy was very busy and he attended many performances, although comfortable, upside down. Much in the way it is told that, if you stand on your head long enough, your brain will flip your perspective to view the world right side up while you are upside down. I figure that my son, and most other people’s too I imagine, was never set upright. No. Instead I believe that the world flipped over to accommodate him. This has taken some adjustment for me. All my priorities switched.

I used to think I was interesting. Now, if I get time to think, I must remember that I run a business and maintain a career, bills, marriage, you know, the little stuff. I used to practice for hours on end to be prepared for anything. I wasn’t usually asked to do much. Now I am asked to do things, by my kid, all day long. I no longer anguish much. I am kind of done with that. Things always go pretty predictably…until they don’t.

I am now sitting in the waiting room while my son takes tumbling/circus class. A two year old is running wildly about in here with a noise maker. His cacophony is building and building. Louder. Faster and faster, chubby little legs pushed to the max. Limbs flailing, mom smiling, baby shouting with glee, running, spinning then…gravity. Splat goes the baby. Silence. Screams. Mom says, “Are you okay?” Baby says, “boula googie splib araaahhhh!” Nearby another mother says baby hit his head and guides the other mom to the bruise. There is fuss amongst women. Amongst the baby? He forgot already. I want to be like that.

Christmas – White Christmas – Back when Traci was with child.

Oh well. I can’t forget because I know there is always something I need to be doing. Then, boom. I am back to pondering why? What is something? What happens if I get it done? Then what? Then, when something is done I can…what? Do something else? Maybe I could do something ‘else’ that I wanted to do but needed to get something done first? What if there isn’t something else? Well, that would be easy. If there was nothing else, I would have to find something else to do. Well, that means that no matter what…no matter whether or not I know why or feel I should do something…the fact is that by the end of the day, I am going to need to do something, if not something else.

This means that something needs to be done. Now is this something that I ‘should’ do? Or is it something that I ‘want’ to do once I get the things done that I should do. Well. Am I a good person or a stinky bad person? I pick good or at least stinky good. Therefore I need to decide. If I get something else out of the way then I can get to me. What if I never get something else done? Then I never get to do something for me. What, though, if I do that something I want to do, first? What if I evaluate the something for me and it isn’t profitable nor wise? It must be profitable and it must be wise. Mustn’t it? At least to me? If it isn’t good, then I can’t say it is good for me; thus, I don’t want it. Therefore, I must be brave enough to dare to chase my dreams.

I must do something about my dreams first. If I wait, the something I will do ‘will not’ be the something that is something I want to do. I will spend all my life doing something that looks like something but never feels like something. You may say, “Wow, wasn’t that something?” and I will ask sincerely, “It was? Does that mean I can do something else now?” In order to feel like something is really something, I need to get behind it as something that means something to me. What if I get rich and famous doing something I hate? That does happen to people. You poor folks who do something you hate and get all rich and famous. Me? I shall do something I think is something. Or else. All any of us want is that something else that we can only get when we have done something about it. I know now, due to my deep personal growth, that something is happening and as long as folks think it is ‘something else’, I will be happy not doing something I should have done and embrace doing the thing that I would do had I done something in the first place.

Christmas- The Twelfth Day

Shortly after my fifth birthday (February) we moved from the Green house to the Blue house. There were a couple of months (weeks…days?) in between as I know my brother celebrated his 9th birthday, in April, while we were still at the Grandparents’. At some point in my third or fourth year we had been to Victoria B.C. On that trip I had my very first migraine and even threw up on the ferry boat ˜Princess Margaurite II” …right onto the car deck.  It was a spontaneous chocolate induced projectile moment that cleared the door from the back seat without getting a drop on any one or anything else. It was likely within days of the picture in the link. I remember the Victoria trip because I was sick and carried the guilt of ruining the family vacation, of which I was repeatedly reminded, but also, and more positively, I had been given, probably at the Bay store, a small set of colored cast iron cars. My brother suggested I play with them on the road in our hotel room. The road happened to be a baseboard heater. By morning all of my new little car’s wheels had melted and none would roll ever again. I was yelled at etcetera and the migraine throbbed accordingly.

I was later offered, likely as a consolation, to replace my little cars, at a much lower price point (we must be talking thirty cents as opposed to a dollar) at the next store which, coincidentally, happened to have no toys.

I remember walking the aisle and coming across my next possession. I stopped short at the shelf and cast my seeking eye upon my next prize. There in their little white box with a cellophane window, sat the most beautiful set of cars I had ever seen. They were primary colored race cars of different shapes and sizes. They were laid out facing the same direction and offering to me their lovely profiles. All in a row, like a bunch of virgins in heaven waiting for me. I didn’t really care about what kind of cars they were. I was fascinated by the colors, the three dimensions…and that they were made out of soap. Like the virgins these cars could only be enjoyed as they are. Once you do anything with them, they aren’t virgins any more. I couldn’t do anything except make them dissolve, which I was not about to do. Of course my brother and sisters thought I was stupid. And Dad, well Hell, he’d given up on me years earlier after he gave me a Shut and Play record player and then never saw me again. I held onto those soap cars for many years. I loved them. They were flawlessly beautiful. Because they were stupid to everyone else they were all mine and were never threatened or abused by my siblings. They kept their shine for years. I kept them in my dresser under my clothes and only under duress did I sacrifice them. It was years later at the Blue house. They had begun to disintegrate. They went to the bath with me and never came out. I valued those soap cars much more than I had valued any toy and the beauty was that I could do nothing with them except look at them. Not everyone values the same things the same way and this was a big life changing lesson for me. I hope some where out there that there is an old soap molder dabbing a tear knowing that what they valued was valued by some one else in a big way.

Although it makes sense value wise, playing chamber music does not make sense financially. It is up to my skills as a merchant to make it work at all and even that is reluctantly …I want to produce and perform, compose and perform and perform and perform and perform. I do not want to try and talk people who don’t understand what they are buying into buying it. If I wanted to do that I’d sell insurance. I want to perform for people who have the same fascination as I did with my soap. The enemy will say, “There aren’t enough of those people in my community to sell out a house.” I will say you are right, and it will remain that way as long as you never dare to program anything else.

At the moment the rich and the poor are the two areas where the value of art is appreciated at the highest percentage. When you are poor, you seek value. Art, if you can fight your way to it, is one of those special things that remind you of why you are struggling and what you are hoping to provide for your children. As for the rich? Art comes with the territory. For many of the wealthiest, access to fine art, theater, dance, and music is the sole thing that defines their wealth. It’s not so much your cash, it is your paintings, sculpture, being seen at the opera, and having the finest of the finest.

In the middle? Elvis impersonators. The middle do not get access. Get into the middle class and go to work. You won’t afford the seats at the opera because you will be at work. Besides, the monster trucks are coming and if you catch wind of the value of fine art…you may start thinking, and if that happens what are you gonna do? Occupy Wall Street? Don’t worry, that won’t last, because like fine art, who wants to spend the money? Fine Art costs money and the middle doesn’t have enough. You want to protest? You’d better not because it costs taxpayers too much money to police.

Long story short? Value, value, value. Cutting loose is valuable and skilled trades people will help you (ski, watch a game, skydive). Rocking out is valuable (Check out a pop band. There are good ones. Go to a dance). Both are necessary.

But there is a greater value in the soul opening magic of artists who have abandoned a conventional lifestyle in order to produce…, for you and any one who values it…, Again, artists who have abandoned their young cash earning years, their middle and old age, in order to create…, just for you, objects and moments of beauty that only extreme self sacrifice can conjure. And not for wealth in cash, but for wealth in humanity, society, and that inner universe where art changes the disposition of wandering and seeking souls. This is valuable.

Educated. Educated. We are making our own bed folks. We shape what is valued in our society by what we present to society. How do you convince the presenter that sells out with Elvis that they should present chamber music? Maybe you can’t. If the motivation is to sell out the stadium then chamber music is not the right thing. If the motivation is to transport and enrich those who are educated to the point of desiring transportation and enrichment, then that is where the art should go. But how will you educate your community so that an audience of that type will exist? Entertain them? Smokey and the Bandit perhaps?

When a generation does the work, it pays off. If they keep working on it, it pays off forever. When a generation rides on the coat tails of their forbearers, they soak up all the wealth and then look around and say, “What happened?” We need to roll up our sleeves and persevere.

Bigfoot and Art.

Here in the Pacific Northwest we share our forests with a large ape-like creature. We don’t photograph it nor talk about it much. There are conspiracy theorists and nut cases who trek through the woods looking for nests but for the most part those are just over sexed folks using Bigfoot as an excuse to get other folks away from their spouses for a night in the woods. The National Enquirer reported in the 80′s that the reason hunters don’t talk about their run ins with Bigfoot has more to do with hiding the fact that they were seduced by a primal-ly charged amorous ape and gave in to it’s advances than it does with any conspiracy. For those of us who have avoided this experience, or at least choose not to talk about it, we have the memories of screaming in the night, stink, and coarse hair. But either way, if we have had an encounter with a Bigfoot, you could never tell by looking at us and thus you’d never know how many of us would show up for the, “My Aching Bones and Love for Bigfoot” retrospective at the community playhouse. Instead, you may program the tried and true Sonny and Cher Karaoke tribute extravaganza. With that in mind consider chamber music. Community outreach puts the art in front of humans. Once the humans experience it, it becomes part of their experience. They will then walk through the world, experienced. When they have an opportunity to experience it again, regardless of what else it is they do with their life, where they live, or how they live, they now have ownership of the art. It is theirs and they will recognize it when they see it and thus are likely to seek it out again. If you don’t believe, ask yourself why it is that hunters smell more like cologne after they have been in the woods then before they went in. But don’t ask them about Bigfoot. I can guarantee they’ll say they’ve never seen one.

A few words the internet attributes to M. Ghandi as seven dangers to humanity:

wealth without work

pleasure without conscience

knowledge without character

business without ethics

science without humanity

religion without sacrifice

politics without principle

There are my heartwarming thoughts for the day, now on to motivation.

My perspective: I will play music, create music, write about music, and persist to continue these three things whether or not they are financially feasible. The art is my motivation and I will not be deterred. I needed to say this so that the following words are not perceived as complaining. They are intended to reflect reality and inspire thought and perhaps inspire sharing on your part of your thoughts. The links are to my e-mail address so it will be easier for you to reply. I think you, as a fan of the duo, will have a perspective that I value.

For our six CD’s for sale we possess a total of about 3,500 copies. CD’s are fast becoming an oddity of a past technology and sales of them, in our experience, have gone down about 70%. Now we could figure we are sounding worse and getting messy but our practice, rehearsal, and growth contradict that. Recently we performed for a house of 600 and sold nine CD’s. Wow. Nine. When we do a house concert, we may have thirty in the audience and sell 60 cd’s. Is that because of the economy? The experience? Do the audiences at the bigger shows go out to dinner first, pay a bundle for tickets, and then keep their thoughts in their mind and forsake a novelty/keepsake? Will they download it later?

CD’s for the self produced can be problematic. For example, when we make an album, the first thing we do is pay the royalties for the songs we are going to record (where appropriate). This is roughly $100 per song that we don’t own per 100 copies. Prior to the first thing we do, heh heh, is, and this is entirely for free, arrange the music for the album, rehearse the music for the album, and practice a bunch. Then, we book session time at $60-$80 per hour for tracking. Figure, if we are prepared, every five minutes of recording takes 2 hours. Thus, for tracking alone, a one hour CD will cost $960. After that, each five minutes will need to be listened to, possibly edited. Editing will cost $60-$80 an hour, but if prepared enough there won’t be much editing so let’s say $160. After that, we will need to Master the album. This will take around four to twelve hours because each track needs to be listened to, balanced, and printed as a final master – upwards of $750. Then this master will need to be listened to again, for free, and checked for digital anomalies. So now the CD is done…well, a graphic designer will need to spend 4-6 hours doing the layout for you at about $600-$800. But what are they going to layout? Artwork? Can I buy art I believe in or have a cover designed for under $500? Probably not but let’s keep it affordable. Let’s gouge the artist a little and use words like ‘exposure’ and ‘resume building’ to talk them down, you know, artist to artist. That’s right, pay the graphic designer without question but work the artist. Okay, the CD is ready! Now off to the manufacturer. When the economy was better you could walk into an office, sit down with someone, go over your project, and strike up a deal and get on your way. Now, telephone only, the office is out of state, and there are no deals. In fact, when you used to pay the $1800 fee for 1000 CD’s they would have them shipped for free to the warehouse and you could pick them up. Now, you may only have them shipped full pop to your door. Now you have 1000 CD’s and you need to let people know. The minimum for publicity that I have paid is around $1500. This bought me one copy of a publicist’s radio station mailing labels. You then spend $100 on CD mailers, and then another $1000 mailing 400 free copies to the list with hopes that one of those 400 stations will play it, some one will hear a song, like it, and then order one of your CD’s for $15 that costs you $2.50 to mail plus your mailer. Maybe you’ve bought a fan! Yay!

So now there you are with 600 CD’s. Let’s give away another hundred to family, friends, and potential presenting organizations. This is complicated because there is nothing on the CD that you couldn’t e-mail as an MP3 but for some reason the psychology of a CD is paramount. So, for this hundred you are out CD mailers, CD’s, and postage, another $300. But, your art is in the hands and ears of more folks. Yay!

Okay, now you have 500 left. Keep in mind that you have also paid sales tax on the money you have spent so far as well as income tax and state tax on those that you have made a buck off of. Your other five titles also have 500 copies left. So, you say, let’s make another CD! But there’s no money. Okay, let’s sell some CDs! At $15 per CD you should make about $7 after everyone is paid. Still an investment, as long as you consider that every one who has worked on your project has been paid except for you, you can handle that, hey, I get $7 every time I sell a CD! You forget about the $8 that left. So you book some shows. The hall where you are going to play is in another state. That state wants a cut of your profits. Okay! It also takes time that you don’t get paid for to do the paper work, file it, and keep track of who gets the money you earn other than yourself. So that is in place. The Hall, however, wants 25% of your sales. 25%. TWENTY FIVE PERCENT! Wait you say. I am already paying 60% of my profit before I get there. Another 25%? We sold nine CD’s to an audience of 600. We need to lower our price! Let’s make it $10 dollars per album. My 60% up front has just changed to 80% up front. Cool, I get $2 for each CD and will get my music into people’s hands, re stock my CD fund for the next album, and move product! Right, except now the 25% means it is costing me $1.10 per album that I sell and every one is getting paid, and paid well, except for me. I am actually paying to give away the CD that I never paid myself to make. A penny for your thoughts?

Modern solution? Here are the two solutions we are going to try:

Solution A: Sell CD’s at $5 each when some one makes a $10 donation to a non-profit in the city we are presented in or two $5 donations to two separate non-profits. Our cut after the 25%? $3. This is $.50 more than the best case scenario and $4.10 more than the worst. So, we make more money and we serve the community in a deeper way instead giving money for no reason to entities that have their hands out for our riches.

Solution B. Suggested donation and FREE CDS! We pay income tax on the donations and eat the production costs. Our CD’s go out into the world and are listened to, we get paid what people can pay, and it never costs us more than what we have into it. Free actually saves us money!

Let us know your thoughts.

Solution addendum #3: We will also in the next few months, in tribute to the economy, add a merchant element to our web page that offers CDs for sale, CDs to invest in (if you want the new album made, with your name in it pay a subscription etc), general artist support contribution option, as well as ‘buy a school program for your community’ option. This one will be neat because if we are passing through your neck of the woods and you have a school you would like us to do an assembly for, you may actually donate it personally.

Why the rant and all the math? Banks actually. I saw some TV the other day and many companies have lowered their prices on their products and services. Mortgage companies, insurance, and the like have raised theirs. Banks in Washington, have almost uniformly added new fees for checking AND SAVINGS! Plus a debit card fee. We have already experienced a ‘cash counting’ fee at one bank as well as check cashing fees based on how many checks we cash. Why are the banks doing it? To make up for lost revenue. Lost revenue? The problem here is that those who control the cash flow do not want to slow down their profits but unfortunately, the reality is, infinite growth and large profits cannot be sustained. Until the big money folks understand, what us small money folks do, that keeping our prices high actually costs us more than it earns, we are in for a bumpy ride.